A Fresh Beginning

Whilst relaxing on a train the other day, I was reading a copy of Wave (a free eco type magazine in Brighton) and I came across an article by artist Selina di Girolamo about new years resolutions revolving around children that I thought I would share with you.

As the calendar kick starts another January I ususally resist the tide of detox fads and weight loss regimes, believing they are driven by a media-led obsession with thinness rather than an appetite for wellbeing.

Personally my Latin constitution feels that it's too cold to ditch red wine, roast potatoes and warming stews in favour of carrot juice at this time of year.  Wintery walks and chopping firewood accompanied by bouts of dancing, tree climbing and lazy vaguely yogic stretching suffice for exercise in our household. 

I am however considering my five parenting resolutions for 2009, and bravely I'm willing to share them with you....

1. In 2009 I absolutely will not feel guilty.  I will replace all my negative thoughts about my mothering ability with the affirmation: "I love myself and my children unconditionally" This will (I hope) remind me to be in the present moment with my children rather than analysing every detail of our interactions for ways in which I can improve.  Giving myself a break will help us all to relax.
2. I will try to find more ways to say "yes" to my children.  Positive reinforcement and praise is proven to be more effective in transforming challenging behaviour than punishment.  I will try to focus this on the pleasure my children feel at their achievements (eg "Wow you must feel so proud of yourself for vacuuming your bedroom") rather than offering labels such as "good boy" that can encourage children to become overly dependent on pleasing others.
3. I will trust my children to follow their instincts.  This includes allowing them to express difficult emotions, to resolve their own conflicts and to choose their own friends.  I will resist the urge to rush in to mediate in the name of harmony, without being invited.
4. I will nurture and treasure my children's creativity.  I will happily have a kitchen full of paint, cardboard and clay. I will encourage floury baking sessions, singing in the back seat of the car, and a myriad of architectural models made from old shoeboxes.
5. I will help my children to acquire skills that enable them to enjoy nature and manage danger.  This will include building fires and shelters safely and using a knife to whittle sticks. Living in a risk-averse society can sterilise the fun out of childhood and in 2009 I will be vigilant to ensure that this attitude does not infect my parenting.